Written by Nancy Pearson, President of Nancy Pearson Design
Question: My sister is pregnant, which is great! But I am a dummy, which is less great. Here’s what I did: I waited until the last minute to buy a gift for my sister’s baby shower, and when I checked the gift registry, everything I could possibly have afforded is gone. I’m not sure what happened–maybe my sister’s wealthier friends and relatives decided to go with cheaper purchases, or bought a bunch of lower-priced things instead of one big thing. Whatever the reason, though, I’m in big trouble and have nothing left to buy. I can’t show up empty-handed, though! Is cash appropriate at a baby shower? Is it ever appropriate to buy something off the registry? Help!
Answer:
Fear not: while it’s always nice to buy something on the registry, etiquette experts generally believe it’s okay to go off-registry, as long as you’re a little careful about it. And here’s some further good news: it’s also perfectly polite to give cash as a baby shower gift (etiquette experts agree that asking for cash as a gift is generally pretty rude, but that’s not your side of this situation, so no need to worry about that).
If you want to be sure that you’re really getting something that your sister wants, though, you could consider just being upfront with her about the situation. Modern gift registries tend to be done through online retailers or through the websites of major chains, so the solution to your problem could be as simple as your sister logging on and tacking on a few new items. Baby registries at stores like Target allow this with a few clicks, and while boutiques might require a phone call or in-person visit to get it done, it’s probably still possible for your sister to add to the registry at this point.
If you want to avoid mentioning anything to your sister, you can go with the aforementioned cash route or turn to things like gift cards and prepaid credit cards. Gift cards or a personalized note mentioning a potential expense can make your gift seem more personal and targeted. Your sister will have a lot of expenses when the baby comes along, from the fun (new outfits, which babies outgrow quickly) to the less fun (babies need to see the doctor frequently, and dental experts tell us your sister should be taking her child to the dentist within one year of his or her birth). Not every expense can be matched up to a corresponding gift card, of course, but a quick note can make it clear that you thought about your sister’s specific needs, and you may even be able to personalize a debit gift card with an image that’s relevant to your intention.
Ultimately, of course, what matters is that your sister knows how thrilled you are for her and how much you care about her growing family. If you put some thought into your gift and find a way to show that, then you can’t go wrong.