The World Health Organization defines sobriety as “a continued abstinence from alcohol and psychoactive drug use.” Lebanon Valley College has designated October 3-6 as Sobriety Awareness Week. Various events are planned to promote discussions on sobriety. Click HERE for those events.
Mike Fry’s FYE class is studying addiction. Students were asked to write a story about something or someone who helped shaped one’s attitudes toward alcohol or drugs.
La Vie is posting the stories of six students, who all agreed to the publication of their submission. These writings are unedited. They appear as how they were submitted for the class assignment.
Day 6: My friend’s life changed mine
By: an anonymous student
I met my best friend in the 5th grade. She was always a hyper person, and was always smiling. She never failed to make me laugh, and her aura seemed so carefree. We helped each other out — as I helped her calm down and stay focused, she helped me take risks and keep my spirits high. When we were kids, there was never a dull moment spent with her.
As we grew into teenagers, we became inseparable. We were practically sisters, and that is when i got to see the real side of her. I realized that her smile was often used as a mask to shield her suffering from the rest of the world around her. Seeming okay to those around her is what mattered most to her. But at home, I watched her live a life of Hell.
Her father is an alcoholic. Most times I see him, he has a coffee cup in his handed filled with Southern Comfort. He was always okay and functioned around me, but when I would leave he would get worse.
She was once grounded for almost a year in the 8th grade. The only times I would see her were at school, where she would tell me that her father along with her mother would lock her in room. She would call me using the home phone at 2 a.m. crying over the things they would say to her. That year of isolation affected her in ways I will never be able to understand. It took the light out of her soul.
In high school, her parents almost got a divorce. I remember her telling me she was proud of her mother for standing up to her father. Sadly, this never happened because her mom could not leave him, she claimed she loved him too much and could not function without him Her dad has all the control in their relationship and it certainly affects the way she views love. She will change herself for a boy because her mother changes her identity for her drunken father. Her mother can’t gain weight, can’t wear certain clothes and can’t associate with certain friends without the approval of her father.
I had to listen to the traumatic things her father would say to her. She once told me when father was intoxicated, he told her to leave the house and that he didn’t want or love her anymore. Her mother stood in the staircase, too afraid to say or do anything. I watched the favoritism her father gave to her older brother. If she did anything as simple as forgetting to do the dishes, her father would go in a drunken rage. She ran to my house in tears countless times because of her father acting out of hand.
The most recent event was at the end of our senior year when I received a phone call from her. She was bawling to the point where I could barely comprehend her, so her boyfriend had to take the phone and tell me to come to his house as soon as possible. I dropped everything to rush by her side and her boyfriend proceeded to tell me that her dad called the cops on her for her using her own money to get a haircut and kicked her out of the house. She had a bag of clothes with her, and she was shaking so badly as she was sitting in the car. She kept repeating the words, “I don’t want to live anymore.” That as the most difficult thing I ever had to see.
Her experiences have made me cautious to be in the presence of alcohol. Alcohol doesn’t just poison the consumer, but it is toxic to those around the consumer. To be the loved one of an alcoholic can ultimately affect your life. Loved ones are forever scarred from the emotional events they had to face. Alcohol is a poison.
I will never drink in front of my children because of my best friend. I will never let addiction take over my life because of my best friend. She is forever scarred, emotionally unstable, and will never completely be herself again. Her father’s addiction took pieces from her that she can never refill, and I refuse to ever let the people I love go through that.